I try to have my verbal filters in place for the most part … but sometimes the thinking happens after the speaking.
Like last week when I blurted out “I am so glad it wasn’t sunny for you in Jamaica!”
Who says that to someone returning from a vacation in the Caribbean “untanned?” That’s such a big no-no on so many levels.
I’ll tell you who. The person who herself was in Cancun where the maximum temperature was a cloudy 70 degrees fahrenheit!
It wasn’t just that I said it … it was also the fact that I thought it.
Just because I didn’t have the most ideal weather on my vacation shouldn’t make me feel glad that someone else’s vacation wasn’t perfect.
I mean, how does it affect me in any way, shape, or form that so-and-so didn’t have the best time ever? It doesn’t make my trip more satisfying.
But still … knowing what I logically know, my first instinct was to react with glee. It’s not really malice or meanness … it’s just that unexplainable feeling of momentary satisfaction … followed by a LOT of guilt.
My husband called me out on it saying, “This is just so wrong.”
And I knew it. I was ashamed of feeling that way. But, I just couldn’t help it.
What is it about someone else’s misery that makes us feel thankful? Why do we not want anyone else to have a good time when we aren’t? Why are we subconsciously so petty?
I don’t have the answers to these questions, but I’m hoping that someone out there reading this will be able to empathize and explain.
I don’t want to hear a “It’s ok” — because I know it’s not. It’s never ok to wish anyone ill or want nothing but the best for friends.
But I do want to know why we allow ourselves to be pulled into the deep, dark trenches of ill will…
What’s your take?