Strictly in the amorous sense, what do you think lasts longer: Love, which is more of a fleeting emotion, between two individuals or friendship, which has deeper roots?
Some, like me, would argue that friendship is the basis of love. If you don’t relate to the person, your frequencies don’t match, you don’t listen, talk, and be brutally honest … there can be no love. You need to be able to reach a comfort level, where you can truly be yourself without fear of being judged. When you can have acceptance. When you can embrace differences. When you can share experiences in complete silence and not feel the need for words.
But others might say that love needs no other relationship to build itself on. It happens in the blink of an eye. People are meant to be … Much like the staple kind of love we see in Hollywood and Bollywood.
For me, love is a state of mind. It doesn’t last 24/7. Friendship on the other hand is more permanent. I may not “feel the love” for my husband every moment of the day, but I know we’re the best of friends at all times.
I posed this question on This or That and received an overwhelming response in favor of friendship (perhaps it had something to do with the way the two were defined?).
But here, I want to delve deeper. I don’t just want you to tell me which one — I want you to share the “why.”
So, go on all of you with spouses, girlfriends, boyfriends, and significant others … tell me what lasts longer — love or friendship?
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Friendship lasts longer
Not that I have an opinion on this matter but asking whether “a state of mind” or “a relationship” lasts longer doesn’t sound like a fair way to pose the question.
Valid point. How would you define and ask the question fairly?
If you say love is a ‘state of mind’ then it is temporary hence it wont last longer. If you feel love then no matter what the circumstances the love will always last or grow.
Friendship in a way is a ‘state of mind’ as it is temporary HOWEVER we are willing to work more at because we do not take the other for granted.
My opinion both are in a constant change always changing depending on time and growth of individual.
Savira, I agree that both change … both need time to develop and both depend on the people concerned. I don’t think that love dissipates over time; it’s just that it’s there in somewhat of an amorphous way … kinda like the pollution cloud hanging over a city. Friendship, on the other hand, seems to be lived in little things, gestures, words, deeds…Some might even say that friendship IS love … it just depends on one’s perspective (as you rightly point out).
I agree with Rohit..”a state of mind” v/s “a relationship” has an obvious answer. I would probably pose the question as What makes a relationship last longer – romantic love or friendship? While I must say both are important ingredients and vital to keep the relationship healthy, alive and balanced, if I really had to choose it would be friendship! Tough choice but the one i would go for simply cos it’s more practical Humans cant sustain intense emotions for too long, we’re not biologically or culturally engineered like that! So obviously what we can sustain is what will work! Fingers crossed
Excellent rationale, Preeti. Thanks for chiming in.