When you tell someone you
Understand
You’ve felt their pain
You’ve been there, too,
You’re empathizing.
.
When you pity someone
Or feel sorry
For them
Or their situation,
You’re sympathizing.
.
When you try
To step into their shoes
And lend an ear
Or a shoulder,
You’re empathizing.
.
When you try
To talk the talk
Without having
Walked the walk,
You’re sympathizing.
.
When you try to
Connect
And help the healing process
By channeling your
Own experiences,
You’re empathizing.
.
When you don’t know
What to say
But say “I’m sorry”
Just because
You’re sympathizing.
.
In most cases
You are sympathizing
Not empathizing
Because even though
You’ve been through
The same experience
Your reality is different from
Someone else’s.
.
When you sympathize
It doesn’t make you
A lesser person
Or one who’s arrogant.
It doesn’t mean you’re
Talking from a high horse
Or a privileged platform.
.
But when you try to
Empathize
It helps you grow
As a person
And have a shared
Experience.
It allows you to
Not just say the words
But feel them, too.
.
Have you often been confused between empathy and sympathy? How do you differentiate between the two?
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Beautiful!
What I get confused about is whether the person wants sympathy or empathy. And that person could be me as well. It is very difficult to sense that for me.
Thanks, Shachi. I think we all seek empathy but we get sympathy in return for the most part, partly because empathizing is so much more difficult and partly because we don’t realize that pity isn’t the best thing to offer someone.
Very nice I wrote a blog about this quite a while back now. There’s no greater thing then compassion & empathy. Although we can never feel exactly the same way as someone else we can feel their pain & listen to their experience with a loving heart. Too many of us are trite in regards to others feeling & we avoid getting involved because we’re too worried about about feeling deep feelings that we may have buried within us.
Open you heart, discover love, compassion & empathy.
Hugs,
Bill
Thanks, Bill. Well said.
Being a volunteer counselor at a helpline, its very important for the person listening to be empathetic rather than sympathetic. You have brought out the difference between the two beautifully.
Thanks, S.R.
Sympathy is often expressed with a Hallmark card, empathy by asking if the other wishes to tell/ share what happened.
Intuitive empaths or highly (often called overly) sensitive people sometimes benefit from sending a card over lending the shoulder to the other. Since their channels are open all the time they have to work hard on not taking on everyone’s pain.
Mansi, I realize I responded to your question, but forgot to say: Well put! and I love the image of the hands as well.
Thanks, Judith, Took me a while to respond…deadlines and then my back brace!
It’s difficult, I’ve noticed, for people to express empathy and, most times, those who’ve had something unfortunate happen to them aren’t really looking for sympathy; they want someone who can understand, not offer their pity.
di its very true n the fact of our life
very tru n understandable thought…
i jst lovd this poem
Thanks, Megha
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