A marriage of lies

February 19, 2010

I watched about 10 minutes of the Tiger Woods apology this morning. Seeing this iconic figure say to the world “I failed you,” was moving. He’s not the first man in time to have strayed from his values, his family, his wife. Many before him have faltered. Have cheated. Have lied.

Many continue to do so. And will.

There’s something about the sanctity of marriage that is so binding for these folks — men or women — who give in to temptation. Affairs offer an escape from the humdrum of the lifelong agreement they signed. Those who cheat want the best of both worlds. Some do it for companionship. Some to rescue their self-esteem. Most do it for sex. To relive the rush, the excitement, the spirit of adventure that has long died in their routine matrimonial lives.

Woods said he didn’t think that the normal rules of marriage applied to him. “I felt that I had worked hard my entire life and deserved to enjoy the temptations around me,” he explained. “I felt I was entitled.” And his money and fame made it even easier to slip.

The media crucified him — he was after all the guy who had changed the game of golf. From a pastime for rich, old men to an international sensation. His name had become synonymous with the greens. Everywhere. He was Tiger Woods. How could he let that get to his head?

Through his transgressions he showed them — us — that he was just a man. An ordinary human being with failings. Weak. Selfish. Irresponsible. Vain.

But sorry.

For now, at least.

It’s hard to believe that someone who’s repeatedly made the same mistake would mend his ways. As much as society and media pressure him into walking the line, it’s his character that will need to stand the test of time. His will. His mind. His heart. He will need to be true to himself. And to his partner.

At the end of the day, it’s not about the media, the society, the family, the sponsors, or the fans. It’s about two people who made a promise to each other.

Some people wrote him off when the news of his affairs first broke. But it seems he’s getting a second chance.

I hope he makes the best of it because he certainly won’t get a third.

Interesting tidbit: Only 35 percent of marriages in America survive an affair. See infidelity statistics on Truth About Deception and AdulteryTips.

16081BD1A60533E0F1173D28DE4F0D3F A marriage of lies

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15 Responses to A marriage of lies

  1. RajlakshmiNo Gravatar on February 19, 2010 at 12:18 pm

    // It’s about two people who made a promise to each other.// thats what actually matters at the end of the day…
    nice post

  2. DaveNo Gravatar on February 19, 2010 at 1:51 pm

    Interesting post. I didn’t watch the apology, as I really don’t have that much interest in it.

    But one thing I do know. Unless rehab actually “cured” him somehow, or hitting rock bottom makes him adjust his thinking or whatever, his character won’t allow him to change. One affair can be a slip, a give-in to temptation or whatever. But 15? Or however many it was?

    That’s a character flaw that it will be hard to overcome. I hope for his sake that he can.

    • Mansi BhatiaNo Gravatar on February 19, 2010 at 4:44 pm

      Thanks for your comment, Dave. I don’t think there’s any going back once you’ve “slipped” these many times. But hope and forgiveness are powerful things. Time will tell. And we’ll all be watching.

  3. SusanNo Gravatar on February 19, 2010 at 7:07 pm

    Dear Mansi:

    I watched the entire proceedings yesterday live from Florida. It was quite moving and touching. I did feel mixed about the entire proceedings. but I am not sure what to say on that.

    Trust is something which binds and I also know that it can be mended. I just hope he takes the required steps and stands by his word to his family.

    I liked reading the post.

    Joy always,

    P.S: How does one become a follower of your Blog. I find no icon like that. Stupid me!!!

    • Mansi BhatiaNo Gravatar on February 19, 2010 at 7:38 pm

      Thanks, Susan. I am a believer but only time will tell if Tiger deserved this second chance.
      You can either subscribe to my blog by clicking on the RSS feeds link (that will auto-update your feed reader every time I post) or you can subscribe to it via e-mail. I don’t know if there’s a way to add Google Connect to the WordPress template, but I will look into it. Alternatively, if you’re on Facebook, you can follow my blog through Networked Blogs there. Let me know if any of these options work (or not).
      Thanks, again, for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.

  4. Lazy PineappleNo Gravatar on February 20, 2010 at 2:33 am

    Agreed that Tiger woods is repentant and sorry for all his affairs. But for a minute, think of a scenario where his wife had done the same things…had affairs with 7-8 different Men. How would have Tiger Woods responded?

    Did he never think of his children? I really wonder if he is cured at all…

  5. beth chapmanNo Gravatar on February 20, 2010 at 6:49 am

    Two people who made a promise. Two people. A promise. For some reason your writing made me shudder as I thought of broken promises in general. I guess that what good writing does – it takes you where the author intended and then sends you off to unexplored lands. Thanks

  6. BernadineNo Gravatar on February 21, 2010 at 9:38 am

    I didn’t watch the speech itself but did see pieces of it later on the news, and I too, am uncertain as to what reaction to have. But I agree with Beth, and just cringe at the broken promises of an agreement that should be so sacred.

    The unfortunate thing is that, marriage no longer seems to be that sacred pact that it once was for so many.

    Although, I personally don’t know what to think, I agree with you, at the end of the day, all that matters is what stands between he and his wife. The media, the world, and society has judged him and will continue to do so – but it will be his actions to come that will determine his character.

  7. tirzahNo Gravatar on February 22, 2010 at 5:44 am

    I really think that Tiger Wood’s personal problems are none of my business. Why does the public need to give him a second chance? Honestly, he didn’t nothing illegal and I could care less.

    Should his wife be pissed? Yes.
    Should his family be disappointed? Yes.

    Should he have to work to make things up to them? Absolutely.

    He owes me nothing. He owes the public nothing.
    I don’t even know why he is on the news for a personal, private issue.

    He plays golf. If he cheated while playing or if he assaulted another player, or if he committed a crime-that may be my business.

    His sex life? I don’t need or want to know.


    • Mansi BhatiaNo Gravatar on February 22, 2010 at 11:16 am

      I agree, Tirzah. But because he is a “role model” for many his personal transgressions become subject to public commentary and critique.

  8. AnahidNo Gravatar on February 22, 2010 at 6:33 am

    I watched the entire speech & it was sad & moving at times. It really sickens me how much the media has to butt into other people’s lives. He mentioned how the media followed his 2 year old…I mean really?!? I think even if a famous couple wants to work things out, the media can make things worse sometimes. Regardless of his fame, this is still something that should be between him & his wife. Great post btw!

    • Mansi BhatiaNo Gravatar on February 23, 2010 at 3:18 pm

      Thanks for stopping by, Anahid. Appreciate your insights — the kinds of things that "go" in media these days are shameful. It’s journalism at its worst. Also liked your post today .

  9. Vikas YadavNo Gravatar on February 23, 2010 at 11:50 am

    Come on! Be reasonable to a man. Or your love for Mr. Clinton is lot greater than Mr. Woods. Mr. President was the ‘role model’ and ‘accountable-in-all-possible-ways’ to the whole public at that time of the event. People still love him, he still draws the crowd (remember during Hillary’s election process) , he still keeps the credibility (the Hiati relief process). Let Woods also enjoy the same. It would not be fair otherwise. No one is bothered about his personal relationship with his wife. That is their personal matter and they will settle the matter between them in whatever way they deem acceptable, just like Clintons did.

    Adultery is a plain loss of character, but no one is perfect. It is equally bad as being dishonest in any matter of life. You cannot just say that lying to spouse to hide your forgetfulness is acceptable loss of character, but adultery is so not acceptable. For the purebreds, it has to be that black and white. Personally, I am ok to live in an imperfect world full of imperfect people who are full of generous forgiveness, but I am NOT ok in selectively defining the imperfectness (and its levels) to make us feel as if we live with almost-perfect people.

    BTW, I think 35% of marriage in America which survive an affair, 95% of them are the ones where the husband is super rich and/or powerful or the wife is super dependent and/or uneducated.

    • Mansi BhatiaNo Gravatar on February 23, 2010 at 3:16 pm

      In response to your BTW: Or they’re hopelessly in love- or the illusion of that feeling called love.


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